The criticism came out recently on Twitter. It has to do with the kind of Christian communities we form. Author Joshua Harris influenced a whole generation of evangelical Christians with his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I always thought it was unfair when people blamed Harris for their own romantic misfortunes. And I think it's taken time for the consequences of the way that people applied the book and the way the book affected people to play out.
It has to do with how we conceive of healthy practices for Christian living. If you're Christian, you believe that there's a way to live a life. I share how the key elements of every great story help you communicate better. I cannot recall all the copies of my book that have been published. He prescribed a way of pursuing romantic relationships that seemed both godly and safe. In hopes others might value this too, Jessica launched a to raise funds for our volunteer crew to complete filming and ultimately give the film away as a free resource.
Joshua Harris, author of the runaway bestseller I Kissed Dating Goodbye, calls a generation bombarded with images of sexual sin back to the freedom and joy of holiness. You know, you do these things and you'll be great. Honestly sharing his own struggles, Harris exposes lust's tactics and helps readers create a personal plan for fighting back. He has released a couple of videos asking those affected by the book to share their experiences with him—good or bad. One pivotal moment was a that rocked a church he was involved in leading in the Washington, D. And so when we try to overly control our own lives or overly control other people's lives, I think we end up harming people. I recommend books like by and by , which encourage healthy dating.
The main characters of this religion, christianity story are ,. That was the beginning of a dawning realization that my own book could contribute to this kind of unhealthy culture in a family or in a church community. I was saying, you know, you can get to know this person, you can enjoy a deep friendship. You do not deal with the tons of doubt alone. Why should we be surprised that we will need to reevaluate? Promotional poster for the new documentary, I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye. If you hunger for a raw faith that satisfies the soul, read on.
So I feel like I'm on the front end of a process to help people in some way if I can apologize where needed and re-evaluate where needed. In addition to this question, some readers have told me the book harmed them. As with a meaningful relationship, reading this book requires a certain level of commitment — a commitment to think hard and wrestle with ideas that will challenge your present views of dating. But you should also strive to have a chaste heart. Men and women will find hope in God's grace and learn the secrets to lasting change. I started listening to hurting people in my own church. Is your heart an ocean so strong and true, I may launch my all on its tide? Demanding what others have died to win, With a reckless dash of boy.
Now he has a new documentary, called I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye, about his new ideas on dating. The author scarcely noticed how his book was changing the face of Christian dating. She said the ideas in I Kissed Dating Goodbye saved her some trouble and heartache as a teen. You should guard your heart and the hearts of others. I studied a mind-expanding mixture of art, religion, history, culture, documentary film-making, and content marketing. Available in a three-pack or separately, the videos explore Searching for Love, Searching for Purity, and Searching for Trust in light of the Bible's perspective.
Nothing fancy and admittedly rather boring to read, but I share them here for those interested in a more in-depth explanation of my thought-process and for anyone who wants to engage more with this topic. Joshua Harris wrote the book when he was just 21 years old. Now I run my own marketing and brand strategy company, , and use the power of story to help businesses connect with customers. I asked one of my professors to oversee a process of study in which I examined the historical, spiritual and sociological factors at work in the church when I wrote my book and in the twenty years after its release. I heard how values could be applied in graceless ways.
Lyz Lenz But not everyone feels this way about the message of Harris' book, which in addition to sexual abstinence until marriage promoted a fairly draconian approach to romance: no casual dating, only serious courtship aimed at marriage. This included inviting people to share their stories with me on my website, personal phone calls with readers, an in-depth study of issues surrounding my book overseen by one of my graduate school professors, and finally, creating a documentary film that captured the conversations with people who were reshaping my thinking. It urges people to avoid rushing into relationships and gives advice like this. She graduated from Multnomah University with a degree in journalism and biblical theology. He was like this superhero on the holiness circuit, right? Zack Blair said holding off on sex for all those long years helped them to focus on more important things. And I just don't think that's the way life works. The Fatal Flaw Much of this was good advice and reflective of overall concepts in Scripture about walking in holiness.
My eyes were opened to the fact that in a church culture even well-intentioned practices and godly values can be applied in a way that deeply hurt people. Yes, you should wait to have sex until marriage, he affirmed. Many wise people say that honesty is the best policy in any relationship. Having grown up in homeschool circles in the Pacific Northwest, I was already familiar with Harris and his family, pioneers in the homeschool movement. I don't think that's the way the life of faith works.
But the results aren't what we hoped for. Two years ago I began a process of re-evaluating the book. One conversation with a fellow student was with a woman named Jessica Van Der Wyngaard. I admire Harris for testing the merit of his book and having the humility to recognize its flaws. Studying church history helped me see that every generation of Christians has blind spots and makes mistakes. We would love your feedback in the comments below! Honest and practical, it challenges cultural assumptions about relationships and provides solid, biblical alternatives to society's norm.